Saturday, July 25, 2009

Travel Directions

Here's one easy way for you to get directions and a map which you can print:

1.First go to Google Maps.
2.Click on Get Directions.
3.Type, or Cut & Paste, this info: IL-1 & Lamb Rd, Cave-In-Rock, IL 62919 into the second of the two empty boxes next to the Get Directions button.
4.In the first empty box, type your starting address (your house address), with the street address, city, state, and zip code, separated by commas. It should look like this: P.O. Box 332, Royal Oak, MI, 48068
5.Click on the Get Directions button.

This will get you to Lamb road, which goes East off of Il-1 (or Route 1). There's only one way you can go on Lamb road, so go down it and follow the signs that say "to HogRock." You will see the first of these signs at Lamb road itself. Now you're all hooked up!

One other helpful note: some programs don't recognize hyphens, so you may want to try Cave-In-Rock as Cave In Rock if you're having trouble finding it.

Cave-in-Rock Ferry
The Cave-in-Rock Ferry provides service across the Ohio River between IL 1 and KY 91 at Cave-in-Rock, Illinois. The ferry is FREE and runs as needed between the hours of 6:00am and 9:50pm.

So, you want to go to the Gathering?

General Information

This is a run-down of some of the practical details about the Gathering of the Juggalos, covering both simple rules for the event as well as some of the handy features of the event.

Amulets and Wristbands
Your Gathering wristband and amulet are also your ticket into the Gathering of the Juggalos. No one will be allowed to enter, or remain in, Hatchet Landings without BOTH their amulet AND wristband (if you are picking up tickets at Will Call, you may enter ONLY TO GO DIRECTLY TO WILL CALL AT THE INFO TENT). Our comfortable, high-tech wristbands are tear-proof, water-proof, Faygo-proof, non-transferable, and incorporate the latest anti-counterfeiting technology. Likewise, the amulets are made of industrial age metals, featuring a phat design that makes everyone without one envious. Your amulet and wristband MUST be visible on your person at all times, so "I got drunk and swallowed it" is not an acceptable excuse.

Important Rules
The rules for the Gathering are pretty much the same as every year, and as anyone who comes to the Gathering can attest, they do not affect the level of devastation it can achieve. They are simply to insure that everyone has a good time and stays safe and legal. We ask that you respect Hatchet Landings by obeying all the rules described below, and to do your part to help make sure others are as well. Also, we ask that you help keep the campground clean by using trashcans.

1.The speed limit while in Hatchet Landings and the Parking Lot is 5 mph. For safety concerns, once a car is parked at a campsite in Hatchet Landings it may not be driven around or inside Hatchet Landings, nor may it leave and return. This extremely important rule is necessary to maintain safety and will be strictly enforced. The only exception is for emergencies-for which you must have permission from the Information Tent.
2.No cutting of trees, dead or alive, or damaging plant growth ($500 fine).
3.Anyone hurting the wild animals, amphibious creatures, or birds will be thrown in jail and banned from returning to the Gathering of the Juggalos.
4.Underage drinking will not be tolerated, nor will excessive use of alcoholic beverages.
5.Please be conscious of your noise level. Music should not be played at high levels at any time, and all music and noise must be kept to a minimum after 11pm.
6.Children must be supervised by adults at all times.
7.Don’t litter. This is espescially true for camping areas. Your area should look like it did before you set up.
8.Careless, destructive, disrespectful, or bothersome conduct will not be tolerated. Show respect to all Gathering, Psychopathic, or Security personnel. Refusal to do so will get you removed from the Gathering. Bring any problems, disputes, or conflicts to the Information Tent.
9.Do NOT record the performances on the Main or Wrestling Stages, or any Autograph signings or Seminars. You’re welcome to bring video cameras or other recording devices into the Gathering, but keep them tucked away while at the shows. Only disposable cameras will be allowed at Main Stage concerts, Wrestling, Autograph signings, or Seminars. Anyone caught filming or using a non-disposable camera at one of these events will have their recorder confiscated (you’ll get it back if you’re nice, but otherwise, we’re keeping it).

Restricted Things
* Glass containers, and glass of any kind
* Video camcorders (not allowed at concerts, wrestling, seminars, or autograph signings)
* Paintball guns
* Animals of any kind
* Paint (other than the kind that goes on your face)
* Weapons or other dangerous objects
* Large kegs of beer, and excessive amounts of alcohol (personal supply only)
* Distribution of promotional material except for bands actually performing
* Nitrous tanks
* Fireworks
* Woodworking tools
* Anything that makes others faint, duck or vomit
* Underwear that fails to cover your crack

All cars entering Hatchet Landing and the Parking Lot will be visually inspected to search for the above listed items.

Good Things to Bring
* Camping gear (tents, survival rations, flashlights, sleeping bags, rain gear, etc.)
* Food, snacks, and such (we have it at the park as well)
* Towels and toiletries for the showers
* Disposable cameras
* Backpacks and travel bags to carry stuff
* Bug spray and bug torches
* Cell phones and communicators
* Ninja suits, and costumes of any kind
* Sexy Juggalettes
* Face paint
* Folding chairs
* Juggalo pride
* Love and presents for your favorite Psychopathic employee!

Parking Lot
The outdoor Parking Lot is free for all Gathering attendees. It is located inside Hatchet Landings. There is plenty of room for everyone, and attendants are there to make sure everyone and everything is safe. You must have a Gathering amulet AND wristband to use or enter the Parking Lot; those without an amulet and wristband will be escorted off the premises. If you do not have a Car, RV, or Baller pass stuck to your car, expect to park in the Parking Lot. If you decide you want to move your car by your tent, then you can purchase a Car / Trailer / RV Camping Pass at the Info Tent. NO FIRES OR TENTS ARE ALLOWED IN THE PARKING LOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. It is heavily guarded 24 hours a day, and a locked car is a much safer place to store your goods than a tent.

Health and safety regulations forbid any sort of camping, partying, or excessive lingering or loitering in the Parking Lot. When you’re in the Parking Lot, you need to be on your way to or from your car.

Set-up / Tear-down
Keep in mind that no one may enter the park to set up their campsites sooner than Thursday the 6th at 10 AM, and we ask that you do not show up earlier than this under any circumstance. On Monday the 10th, you should be clearing out from 10 AM - Noon, as this is the official tear-down day. Everyone will need to be cleared out of Hatchet Landings and the Parking Lot by Noon.

Fire Wood
Fire wood will be sold from trucks and a 4-wheeler driving around the park. We encourage Juggalos to stock up early, cuz it’s a big park, and it may take these trucks a while to get around. Mind the rules about campfires: they must be at least 15 feet from tents, cars, or structures, and 5 feet from the roads.

Information Tent
Psychopathic selects only the most mentally masterful ninjas to serve at the Information Tent, and it’s open 24 hours. This is the central hub of activity where Juggalos can go for directions, emergencies, or the answers to various queries - but if you want to know where your dirty drawers went, it’s best not to ask! The Info Tent is also the place to get another Gathering Booklet or map, get involved with the Scavenger Hunt, or check the Lost and Found. These ninjas have such amazing powers of perception and deduction, they may even have your problem solved before you get there! Psychopathic Records wants the Gathering to be a positive experience for everyone involved, so don’t be afraid to bring any questions or concerns to the Information Tent. The Info Tent will get it done!

Security Precautions and Additional Rules
We’ve taken many steps to make sure that this year’s Gathering is a safe and secure event.

Wear your Amulet and Wristband! Security on the inside will be looking for your wristband and amulet, so keep them on you at all times! These items are the only way security can tell who is supposed to be in the park from those who aren’t, so don’t lose them. Anyone caught without an amulet and wristband will be asked to leave the park.

Inside the Park:
We’ve got security personnel scattered throughout the park on patrol to make sure you and your camping area stay safe and secure. They’re not there to restrict you in any way, just make sure that you and everyone else are safe and secure. If you’re having trouble of any sort, please feel free to stop or call to the nearest security person and ask for help. That’s what they are there for!

Cars on the Campground:
You may only bring cars into the camping areas if they have a Car, RV/Trailer, or Big Baller Camping Pass. These passes are stickers which must be visible on the car (See the Rules sections for each of these passes). Any cars entering the camping areas without camping passes may not be allowed back to the Gathering. Once inside the camping area, you are prohibited from taking this car in and out of the park, leaving only for emergencies authorized by the Info Tent. There are a lot of people at the Gathering, and to keep things safe and flowing we just cannot have people driving about during the event. Once you park it, it’s there to stay.

Parking Lot:
For most everyone, you’ll be driving to the parking lot, parking your car, and walking directly to all the flavor inside Hatchet Landings. You may not see your car for an extended period of time, but you needn’t worry. we have security patrolling both the interior and borders of the Parking Lot, looking for anyone suspicious and watching over every vehicle to make sure that nothing happens to any of them. Your car and everything in it will be 100% safe while you’re at the Gathering.

The roads around Hatchet Landings are patrolled by police at all hours of the day. They will stop and question anyone they see walking along the side of the road (or in the road). Likewise, any cars stopped on the side of the road are likely to be questioned, and any cars parked on the side of the road will be towed. Unless you have a vehicle pass, you want to drive directly to the parking lot.

Food Court
Be sure that growl you hear deep in the woods isn’t your stomach! After a long day exploring the mad amounts of flavor the Gathering has in store, every Juggalo’s gonna need to stop and get their snack on. The concession area is the place to go for a meal, for the munchies, or just for a Faygo. We promise a plethora of dining sensations, the finest food a carnival has to offer! You won’t even have to hunt chickens... unless you want to (no harming the wildlife, for real). All the classic concessions are in effect, including: hotdogs, hamburgers, pizza, salad, nachos, fries, and elephant ears imported directly from the elephant exhibit at the Detroit Zoo! You can eat your food in the shade at a picnic table in the dining area, or carry it with you to the next event!

Convenience Store
Out in the middle of Hatchet Landings, with no K-Mart or 7-11 in sight, you’re gonna need someplace to buy stuff. The Convenience Store will have everything a growing Juggalo could need, short of love slaves or bondage gear. Who knows, with Psychopathic ninjas in the house, you might even be able to score some of that on the down-low! We really need to keep Juggalos from leaving the park unnecessarily, so we do our best to stock anything you could need right here. The store will have disposable cameras, batteries, cold beverages, snacks, Faygo, flashlights, hygenie items, and even clown make-up. If we don’t got it, you don’t need it!

We strongly recommend that Juggalos bring enough money to suit their needs, and keep it on hand, in a safe place. However, we will be providing ATM machines for your convenience. They can be found in the main areas of the Gathering, for directions hit up the Info Tent. Users are responsible for all transactions at the ATMs. No refunds will be offered.

It’s not quite a Tempestual downpour, but the showers are a comfortable, sanitary way to wash that sticky Faygo out of your hair, or the dirt out of your crevices. Seperate male and female hot showers will be available 16 hours per day. There’s room for dressing, but there will be a five minute maximum shower per person to ensure that lines flow quickly. You should also bring all your own toiletries, including towels, as none will be provided.

EMT / Ambulance
To ensure the health and safety of every Juggalo, we have provided an EMT tent complete with paramedics and a 24-hour on-site ambulance. The EMT tent can be found on the map. They are available for any serious injuries or medical emergencies that may occur, and we ask that Juggalos only go to them with serious problems. However, don’t be afraid to get checked out if you’re not feeling right, cause sunstroke and allergic reactions can be a bitch!

The only thing more legendary than a Psychopathic show is Psychopathic swag! What can we say, we know we got the best shit. The merch looks better than ever, and the Merch Tent has the best hours ever. Your head will spin when you take it all in. They’ll take cash or credit this year, so pimp yourself out with some top-of-the-line threads or some killer collectibles.

Musical Performances

The Gathering of the Juggalos is the biggest event of the year in Underground music. Every year it hosts over 100 acts, and the list is growing. We're still adding performers to the 2009 roster, but here's a list of who's confirmed so far:

MC Chris

Esham & NATAS

The Dayton Family

Bizarre of D12

Ice Cube

Awesome Dre




Vanilla Ice


Tech N9ne

Kottonmouth Kings






Dark Lotus


Motown Rage

Big B




Pauly Shore - Shore's career began when he became a MTV host, a position he held from 1989 to 1994. Pauly had his own show, Totally Pauly, and served as a host, most memorably on MTV's annual Spring Break parties. Now he’s comin’ through the 10th Annual so be ready to laugh your ass off!

Jimmie “JJ” Walker - Y’all remember him as being ”JJ” from Good Times back in the day, but you might not have known that due to the success of his career that Time Magazine named him Comedian of the Decade! So get ready, because his performance is gonna’ be “DYN-O-MITE”!!!

Rowdy "Roddy" Piper - That's right wrestling fans, the WWF Legend will be doing a comedy set again this year at The Gathering!

Freestyle Motorcross - 3 shows a day for the whole event; includes back-flips and crazy shit

Airbrush Facepainters - free to all to get their clown-paint on

Inflatable Games - let your inner child run free and play like you're six-years-old again:

Giant Slip & Slide - run and slide through across wet canvas

Water Slide - walk up and slide down a squishy waterslide

Bouncy Boxing - using oversized boxing gloves to sock the crap out of your friend

Gladiator Joust - fighting with big soft sticks, trying to beat your buddy off his stand

Obstacle Course - climb, tumble, and jump through a bunch of barriers

Site Attractions

The Gathering is also a vacation for many, and as such we complete the experience with all kinds of fresh activities for you to enjoy!

Helicopter Rides
Have you ever been in a helicopter before? It's an experience unlike any other you've ever had! It's a bit like riding in a roller coaster, but WAY crazier, and with even stronger G-force at points. Straight-up, helicopters are beyond fresh, and how many times do you get a chance to actually go up in one? Unlike most things at the Gathering, this extra flavor isn't free: it will cost you $20 to enjoy a ride, but trust us when we say it is well worth the expense!

Airbrush Facepainters
For those wanting to get their clown love on extra-hard, we've got professional airbrush artists on the grounds ready to paint your face, arms, or whatever you want with your own personalized clown paint! What better way to get into the spirit of the Dark Carnival than sporting some paint?

Back by popular demand we've brought in a multitude of inflatable games and contests for your enjoyment. Punch the shit out of your buddy with oversized Bouncy Boxing gloves, or beat them down with Gladiator Jousting sticks, all with the comfort and safety of a cushion of air to catch you when you fall. Or cool off on the summer day with either a Giant Slip & Slide or the Huge Water Slide. Or if you feel like like a challenge, try out the Obstacle Course. All of these inflatable amusements are 100% safe, so throw yourself into it and have a fun like you were a little kid again!

Love Train
Don’t you just feel sorry for those ninjas still walkin, when you’re ridin high on the Love Train? It’s a chance to get off your feet, get around, or just get down with the sights and sounds all around as you roll through Hachet Landings. Pickup stations are marked on the map. Do not attempt to get on or off the Love Train while it is moving. Do not get in front of the Love Train, or you might get flat.

The Swimming Hole
Right in the middle of Hatchet Landings is a clean, cozy swimming hole for all your heat-beatin, belly-floppin needs! The water is treated to be safe both for swimming and drinking. (We can’t say the same for your fellow Juggalos, though.) There is no lifeguard on duty, so swim at your own risk, and bring a bathing suit!

Spazmatic Hang-Out
The Spazmatic Hangout is your party-within-a party! During the day, it’s like a beverage bar, with Faygo, Spazmatic, and slushies, plus certain special swag to pump your party! (no alcoholic beverages served, but you can bring your own).

Cool-Down Stations
In case you're lookin at the sun, and wondering about keeping cool at the Gathering, there's nothing to fear! (unless you forgot sun-block). There are multiple Cool-Down Stations at several locations throughout the campground, marked on the map. These are no measly mist-tents, these are permanent structures of full on water-spraying flavor, complete with a bank of sprayers, faucets, and their own plumbing. This means more free water and more wet Juggalettes for all of us!

In addition to the flavor we bring with us, Hatchet Landings is one of the freshest locations we've ever seen a Gathering at! In addition to sprawling, scenic wilderness, Cave-In-Rock has a history of violence as long as your tattooed arm! This area has been home to River Pirates, Smugglers, Counterfeiters, Ghosts, and some of the nation's first Serial Killers! Peep that freshness here.

gathering of the juggalos

The 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos will take place from August 6th to August 9th, 2009. For those veterans of past Gatherings, you know how we bring the madness and power in a way only we can. There's going to be a shitload of concerts, autograph signings, artist seminars, contest, and much, much more! It's the 10th year baby, so you know it's going to be HUGE!!